I was very young when my family started taking the train down to Chicago for Thanksgiving so I was introduced to being in a busy city and seeing historical buildings and architecture at a young age. I also attended a campus of Lutheran school which would have events at the downtown campus which had a gorgeous church they used as a auditorium. It wasn't until I moved away from all of that that I realized not everyone is used to things like being on a subway or seeing a cathedral on every other corner. I had a few friends travel abroad in high school and they showed pictures and excitedly discussed and told out group about the subway and I was very confused about why it was so exciting for them. It hit me then that they had never seen one and it was something that was so foreign to them but so second nature to me.
I fell in love with being able to walk places or take the subway instead of having to drive 20 minutes to get to the store. As the years went on I missed the feeling of being in the city more and more, my freshman year of college I went on a department trip to New York City. I had never been before and everyone told me I would love it. I did not. I felt so out of place, uncomfortable, and lost there. It didn't help that I got sick while I was there, but I hated the feeling the city gave me. Instead of feeling at peace I felt anxious and scared. I came to a lot of realizations during that week and one of them resulted in my change of major. I am so glad that I was able to go on such a fun trip to be able to discover myself and figure out that I did not want to end up in New York.
And now here I am, getting close to 20 years down the line, living in an old 1930s hotel and going to university in a stunning historic city. I see so many amazing buildings, cathedrals, and architectural details and I am able to walk to get coffee or go explore a bookstore between classes. I dreamed of this moment for many years, but I never thought I would actually get to this point. Each day when I look out my window and see the river, I feel such a calming effect. I wouldn't change anything because it all lead to where I am now, even though some of it was awful and I wish it had never happened, it all brought me here and I am better for it.
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world."
~ Oscar Wilde
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